Valerie Marshall

MY FAITH JOURNEY

Three years ago my daughter passed away suddenly in Jamaica. It was on a Sunday. I didn’t receive the sad news until I was in bed. My youngest daughter woke me and gave me the sad news. I didn’t respond. I didn’t say a word to her. I just stared at the ceiling, then at her, then back at the ceiling. She said in a very quiet voice, “Mom, did you hear what I said? Ingrid is dead.” I said to her, “yes I heard you” and kept on staring at the ceiling. The thought that was going through my mind was, “Lord, she had two little boys who need their mother.”

I’ve been a born again Christian for a long time. I have Jesus as my savior through good times and bad times. My faith has been tested and tried many, many times, but when the Lord took my daughter home I thought it was more than I could bear. My heart was broken.

I remembered 1 Peter 5:7 – Cast your cares upon him for he cares for you – and that was what I did. I cast my cares on Jesus and let him bear the burden because Jesus understands. Oh, how we cried the day she left us. It’s easy to pray, read the Bible and worship when life is at its best and we are on the mountain top. Then things change and we are in the valley. That’s when our faith is put to the test.
One of my favorite hymns says “who fathoms the eternal thoughts, who talks of schemes and plans; the Lord is God: he needed not the poor device of man.” I know I should not question the Lord and ask why.

We went to Jamaica for her funeral. Friends and families, we all gathered around her grave and grieved. While we were all grieving there was one thing fixed in my mind to which my spirit clings: I know that God is good and I know he is going to see me through this heartache and pain. It was a time when darkness hides his loving face. My whole world was falling apart but I rested on his unchanging grace. Alleluia. His oath, his covenant, his blood support me in the whelming flood. When all around my soul gives way, he was my hope and stay. Praise the Lord. Christ is the solid rock on which I stand, all other ground is sinking stand. Amen.

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